Family

What ever anyone says, family is supposed to be the most important thing in life....I used to believe in this...until recently that is....Since the start of my holidays..no...since even before the start of my sem2 holidays...my family has been through many arguments....I believed family was important until those arguments broke out...everything i knew about families being important shattered....

Elders say to the younger generation: "Respect your elders and your siblings, as once you've lost them they are gone and cannot be called back..." TO HELL WITH THAT!!! I respected my family members....i gave ample respect even to my sibling...what do i get in return? TOTAL DISRESPECT from him.... My parents only have eyes for him and he turn out like this? FUCK him! Arrogant asshole that thinks he can do what ever he want to who ever he wants... Just because he can win races doesnt mean shit in the real world..u dont get promotions for being NO.1 in races, not in the real world...! He treats me like trash when ever he talks with me..."If doesn't respect you, continue to show him respect," thats what my parents say. FUCK them on that!! I do not respect people who do not respect me.

Call it what u want, but i can tell you my family is falling apart no matter what my parents say! My father's pride is nothing! National Coach, so what! My mum being Pandu Puteri leader or something what the hell is that? Why is it more important than trying to make the home a better place to life in? My sibling, To him nothing is more important than winning! If he losses at something he'll go all sour till u let him win! Always like to mix with those who say they are powerful in a certain aspect.... For example: He thought my cousin was a pro in DOTA and CS, so when my cousin was here, he only wanted to team up with him and not me.. End results, i KO'ed both of them...I havent played DotA in many months and yet i beat them hands down....

The time when i need a person closes est was the time she choose to left me....She thought it was the best time...but because of exams i never told her what i was facing at home...she just said use to free time to get on better terms with your family....The day that i had a day of peace was when Nelson followed me on a trip to Kampar and 1/2 of the following day. My parents and sibling hid the war well to that i felt great...I was able to show my bro(Nelson) my house when it was peaceful...but once he left, all hell came back...Its always like this..since many many years ago...when ever the family has guests, all look like angels...once the guest goes, it become hell again...

You may think i'm exaggerating but i can tell u i aint.... In uni, if i dont look stressed or sick, then i've played my part well... To be honest I dunno how long more i can keep this up.... My body is getting weaker..... Its lucky i got more patience training from 2nd bro..if not....i think i would have ran away from home a long long long time ago.... Its just bad you know.... While typing this, my hands are still shaking with anger! I'm sad that my family has become like this.... In 2 and a bit months time, i'll be moving to Kampar for my further studies....I do hope i can have memories that will make me miss my home... but from where i stand now...there is nth but sad memories and stuff i do not wish to carry to Kampar....

This is just sad...a seemingly nice home on the outside actually is hell inside.... I hate this... I dont like to admit that my family has become like this but what can i do...its the truth!!!! I seek peace today but it was ruined by my sibling and mother..... Well got to go...meeting with the brothers at 2nd bro's place at 2pm... i gonna have lunch there too... Didnt want to follow dad cuz if i did he mostlikely will blow up and ask why i cant go there by myself and always need to rely on the family....I dont like being shouted at for not doing anything wrong....Its my mum's fault if she forces me to follow and i've got to take a scolding.. I'm not stupid to get scolded so many times for a mistake that my mum constantly makes....Not today....