Y so EMO??

In past few days, I've become so attached to the 2 closest people I know can never be mine.....

Its a bit saddening...

The time spent was extreamly short...

yet I some how became very dependant and attached to them...

1 had already found a boyfriend..I was late by almost a month...

1 had a unofficial boyfriend...only in times of privacy would they appear to be a couple...in public...some said i was her bf more than he was..stupid arent I...

Its my own fault for becoming attached to them...

Its been soo long since I was able to hold a girl so close in my arms~~

But after these next few days...

all that would just have been a past and a dream...

Its not possible...

but I definately am attached to one of them...

sad...

it all ends tomorow...

or should I say...

It already has ended today...

no more edi~~

oh well...

moody now...

reality hit me so hard i have a headache now...

head spinning...

enjoy the dream~~

it will last forever in my mind...

really really moody right now....

Lost

Lost it..

lost everything...

as lonely as before..

as empty too...

sadness envelopes the soul...

crying out is not an option...

in this eternal darkness...

Miss Kampar

Soo bored...

high school friends are busy....

they are having exams...

so none are free to hang out with me...

miss kampar lots...

didnt really feel like coming back to KL...

oh well...

latest by the 29th i'll be back thr anyway...

but if they are certain "events" which require me to return..

I'll take the next train back there...

in the mean time...

nth is up....

so no updates either...

thats all for now~~

XD

rahter short but what to do...

nth happening...

so nothing to write about..

oh alright...

something is going on..

but i cant put it in writing yet can i...

no i guess not

the time is not right...

not yet anyways...

will let my valuable readers noe when the time arrives~~

so do wait~~

and sorry for the shortness and the suspension i may have given u~~

do come back every now and then~~

i do update..

only its the content which is a bother~~

3rd story on the way..title: Choices...

that all...

really...

goodbye...

and...

goodnight...

男生有了女朋友后的20个惨状

一、没认识你之前我拿奖学金，认识你之后我差点补考。

二、我忍着让别人笑话的耻辱给你洗衣服。

三、一个苹果，都给你吃。两个苹果，我把大的给你吃。

四、同吃一条鱼，我让你吃鱼肉，我自己吃鱼头。

五、你这么难看，我还说你漂亮。我这么帅，你还说我难看。

六、出去玩都是我花钱，回来我只能吃萝卜（你省下钱当然可以自己吃鱼翅了）。

七、认识你之前我没交过女朋友。认识我之前你交了两个男朋友。

八、你生气时，我让你当出气筒。我生气时，我把自己当出气筒。

九、你想吻我的时候就可以吻我。我想吻你的时候还要经过你同意。

十、你经常打我，我从来没有打过你。

十一、有一次你问我如果你爱上别的男人了我会怎样，我说我要杀了那个男的。我又问你如果我爱上了别的女人了你会怎样，你说你要阉了我。

十二、我买了200块的衣服给你，骗你才50块。你买了30块的手表给我，骗我要300块。

十三、我把你的耳机用坏了，我买新的赔你。你把我的自行车丢了，连句对不起也没说。

十四、你生病一次，我要瘦两斤。我生病一次，你反而胖两斤（你来寝室陪我，吃光了我所有的零食。）

十五、我没嫌你矮，你却嫌我高。

十六、你来我家，我睡沙发。我去你家，还是我睡沙发。

十七、那次去看露天演唱会，你骑在我头上看得津津有味，我被你压在下面在人群中流泪。

十八、我家的狗生了，我把最好看的一条送给你。你却把你养得快要死掉的金鱼送给我，害我才养两天就得给它们送终。

十九、我给你洗了N次的袜子，从未给你丢过一只。你只在我生病的时候给我洗了两双袜子，就各丢一只。

二十、我陪你去买东西时我主动帮你提东西，你却从来没问过要不要帮我提东西。

Final 24hrs at Kampar

Final 24hrs at Kampar....

the count began at 7pm just now...

Last day wish to eat at Lucky Station ...

GRANTED!! With bonuses too!!!

Got her name, Ah Yan~~

Whats more is dat she is begining her Foundation studies at UTAR...

I offered to gv her all my notes~~ she oso art stream~~

Besides that, also got the owners name, Melvin....

He's a great guy to talk with...

He also agree to the way i study~~

I have the same style as he did...

he graduated frm Taylors..

He is almost as open-minded as I am too!!!

Which is great...

At least I know that Im not alone in KAMPAR anymore...

someone else shares the same traits as I....

Also i got **'s hp number and email add..

Thx to the "Tarzan effect(Nelson came up with this term)" took me 3 weeks at least to get it...

thinking back....

it took me longer just to get Ah Yan's name...swt lor...=.='''

oh well anyways enjoyed the trip to Ipoh with Stippie, Nelson, Jia Ling, Pui Chee, Grace and Yee Wei,

Went to sing K and watched X-Men Origins: Wolverine..

i actually sang a lot this time...

solo'ed 1 song ---- sang a few with jia ling and pui chee ---- a bit here and there too~~

Extreamly enjoyable day hope it would have lasted longer though~

Oh well...good thing dun last forever(physically)

but the memory eternally kept in mind~~~ <3

Mum coming to pick me up tomorow...

Havent begun packing..will do soon...

Finally finish cleaning room~~

1st time in 5 months my room so clean and neat and tidy^^

Remodeled the room again though..

Clear a bit more then can slp jor~~

Been a long day~~

^^

Ahhh well...

Looks like this sem ended with a happy note~~

Aim Average,
Score Above Average.
Aim High,
Fall Harder!!!

Exams over, holidays started

Exams over jor, holidays here~~~

More updates soon~~

Do come often~~ ^^

Feel like I'm being used...

"I HATE YOU! IF you cant even get the guy you love to like you, you're useless!! By using me so that you can make him JEALOUS! What a joke, you made use of my sincere love towards you so you could make him jealous! W*** T** F***!! Do you think you can make him jealous while your with me? How stupid can you get? He doesnt even give a S*** about you! Whats more, he's my best friend!! You get close with me just to get him! You're a F****** B****!! I dont ever want to see your face again! GET LOST!!"

This was what my best friend shouted to his GF at our gathering last year. Some how it came back to me just now. We(the other friends) were rather shocked. We thought they were still ok, you know those lovey-dovey unseperatable couples. Even their parent didn't object to them being together. There we were thinking that he'd be the 1st of our friends to get married.... To think that his GF actually loved his best friend and used him to get to her target. Acting all happy at lovey-dovey... all fake..all just to get to someone else.... He explained to us what was going on, and at the end of his explanation, 90% at the gathering agreed to his actions. What she did is a disgrace to all women around the world... That despicable B****!

I was used once too. So I do know how he feels... Even now.. I feel like I'm just being used again... I see the sign and stuff, but in the begining I thought I was giving my new best friend a hand, he was ok with that. Till another one stepped in, he rejected her, yet i think he did it without thinking... Now he wants to make up for it, she on the other hand, now playing hard to get... and I stuck in between, used by one side to manipulate an effect for the other side...

Stupid isnt it...I still am wondering how I got myself into this situation... What started out as a joke to give the shy him a chance... Now has become high tention/pressure situation.... Its like a triangle whos sides do not meet... 2 girls and 1 guy... oh yeah another guy in the center of it all being used like a leaverage....

I'd want to avoid a sceen like that of my gathering last year... So I've begun to distance myself from this foray... Instead attemping to tag onto another more safer route...or so the route appears to be... But one of the triangle is sortta trying to make it less obvious... If things continue like this, there will be a 2nd triangle appearing... Oh S***... this is not good at all....haiz...

Back to the present(This very moment) my heartbeat has been irregular for the past 2 days.. makes cycling and playing a oain in the chest.. Low stamina and breath... I find that after trying to exert more energy while cycling, my heartbeat and breathing goes way off... very irregular... more like I'm grasping for air... The pain in the chest isnt any good either... Makes my breath eeven shorter... Duno whats wrong.... its been like this since yesterday afternoon... Body sot sot edi...

ARGH!! Things are going way off plan...or you could say that the road has just become a roller coaster.. with unguided and unknown paths ahead... for all I know their may be an upside down loop or a sudden turn in event... Best stay quite and see how things go.....



P.S: sorry about the crude language but I'm just telling it as how it is...I did sensor out the words so it isnt that bad... but once again.. Sorry about the crude language..

A creed to live by

A Creed to Live By

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different -
that each of us is special.

Don't set our goals by what other people deem important.
only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
cling to them as you would your life;
for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers
by living in the past or for the future;
By living your life one day at a time,
you will live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over -
until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't dismiss your dreams -
to be without dreams is to be without hope,
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run life so fast -
that you forget not only where you've been,
but also where you are going.

Don't shut love out of your life
by saying it's impossible to find;
the quickest way to receive love is to give love -
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly -
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings

Credits:
-Author Unknown-
Retrieved from email sent to me by Wen Xin(my classmate)
website she took from: http://www.thylacineslair.com/MindRetreat/Creed.htm

2 nEw StOrIeS

I've writen 1 story and am in the midst of writing a second one....

Title of the 1st short story is : Sunset Flower

Title of the 2nd short story is : The Fountain of Tears

If you want a copy, leave your email address by comment and I'll send it to you.

They are both nice stories...

Though the 2nd one isnt finished yet...

Both stories are too long to be put as a blog post...

The 1st story is equal to four pages in microsoft word...

The 2nd one maybe about that number of pages too, give or take a page or two....

Thats the update for this week~~

Look forward to more after the 11th of MAY (Last day of my exams)

Till then~~

DO come often...

I'll update when ever I can~~

Have a nice day....

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE HAVING EXAMS!!!