Eating.......not enough time to spend..

Lets see....

what have i eaten so far...

had duck frm somewhere near PJ....restaurant called Golden Sun....

had bbq with family and cousin's family....

had bacon and eggs for breakfast....

not having lunch...

still full from breakfast...

well....

wish i had more time for this visit though...

not for eating lar...

time to spend with my heng dai's....

managed to spend an hour ++ with 2nd bro(+ ah sou) and 4th bro....

met at midvalley by coincidence....

had a drink with them...

4th bro is working at the feng shui shop there...

2nd bro just out for a walk~~~

he's re-entering uni for his diploma this MAY....

wish him all the best..

well...

i had to go back early...

mum gave me max of an hour....

wants to go to the puchong house...

bbq there lor...

have to go earlier start fire and stuff...

dad was irratable...

complain abt this....

complain abt that...

no mood b in his presence...

as if that wasnt bad enough....

his sister also was back for the long weekend...

******* *****

the pair of them around...

had to extra strain for patience...

tiring me out so damn much...

as if i dont have enough things to think abt...

very streesfull "time for relaxation"....

come home to relax and have nice food...

watch the tv a bit...

kena tembak by her adi...

i dislike being around her lar..

sure...

she's rich...

mahal food too...

but sometimes...

she's a pain in the neck...

same personality as my dad if not worse....

pengsan lar...

wanna die...

wish there were more time to be with my heng dai's....

miss the good old days...

(makes me sound so old....)

but really...

i miss being with all of them...

always something lacking in my life at kampar...

the insecureness...

loneliness...

but ...

looking like i'm happy...

in reality...

i don't feel happy...

always blue and down...

to little happy memories to maintain happiness....

hope to find peace soon...

real peace...

not just the word...

but the real feeling of it...










this post was supposed to be written last night...but no mood to write....later might have one abt my day(today).....see how things go.... thats all for now.... HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE

Home at last...

Home at last...

one which i didnt really feel like coming home to...

but...

all is well...

came back to KL by train...

took a deep breath the moment i stepped out of the station...

coughed and sneezed a bit...

the kampar air is better...

fresher and less polluted...

kampar is more quite compared to kl...

took a cab home...

felt weird when entering my home...

it seemed huger than i remembered...

1st thing i did...

was to get some food...

grandma heated up some soup for me...

ahh...

home cooked food..

something i missed a lot...

especially my grandma's cooking...

well nt to say there werent any greeting party...

got 7 mosquito bites(up till now)...

then i turned on the tv...

been awhile since i watched some tv...

then the least favorite person came home...

greeted him in the usual manner...

tried to converse with him...

told him of the tales of my life so far in kampar...

he didn't seem interested...

so i gave up...

then i left the area he was in...

went to my room to hide behind my laptop...

bro came home awhile later...

traded a few songs and stuff with him..

then mum came back round 4pm..

went off to cut my hair and gai gai a bit...

dad din tag along..

after gai gai...

went home to get ready go eat "paper wrapped chicken" with family...

everything went generally well today...

till....

i sit here...

reading some comics as i let my thoughts wonder...

feel bad...

like how i was just throwned aside the last time...

that time did hurt...

but this time...

it not the pain that is worrysome...

its the feeling and the emotions which take a stab/grab at me...

the pain and the presure...

the emotions crush down upon me...

weighing me down so much...

that all the injured parts of my physical and mental body...

the wounds have opened up once more...

so many months have past since the last incident...

yet my wounds which have partially healed...

were re-opened again...

just by this mere small case..

its hurting me badly...

as i try to keep my composure to finish this...

i feel down...

feel so blue...

but a word of thanks to those who comforted me...

thanks...

but with wounds like mine...

comfort can only temporarily close up these grievious wounds...

but thanks anyways...

i'll be alright...

back to my same old self...

just need a few days off...

recover from whatever is ailing me now...

my fingers tremble as i try to block out those sad memories...

in a place where the root of all my sadness began...

this place called "home"...

for me...

being able to live a day with no problems like today...

eases me a bit...

that is all for tonight...

more upcoming....

2moro or the day after~~~

Good night everyone....

Reload

i've decided...

i'll continue with the story...

though it may no longer be filled with the lovey-dovey scenes...

or maybe it will...

but i will stand firm and continue in my writings...

Boil soup....down the drains with all of it...

Boil soup....

down the drains with all of it...

dun even need to ask...

everything out...

and to hell with all of it...

suan lar...

wad to do...

this will be last part of the story...

no happy ending...

(M.L. do continue reading...more new stories next time...end of the story d)

main female character of the story uncomfortable with these stories...

so i got to end the story early...

maybe next time will have a better story to write on...

good training for me...

on day can write a book~~

sell it and get rich like J.K. Rowling....

well that's all for now folks...

check back round the weekend for a new story...

might have might not...

depends if i get any inspiration or not~~~

hehe...'

sry again to my readers for ending the story so suddenly...

summary of my day - 5/3/09

feel much worse today....

didn't feel like attending linguistics today....

slept early last night...

but still cannot wake up this morning....

din even hear all 5 of my alarms...

lucky stippe called me ask if i want go class or not~~~

went in the end...

knees felt like on fire....

pain like mad...

after that...

slept right thru the 1st hour of luke's class....

cannot tahan listening to literature history adi.....

craziest and most boring topic ever....

whr got ppl, week after week after week do history of literature geh!!!!

stupid wan....

2day she ran off early~~~

really early....

suan bah~~~

den afternoon, wanted come home to sleep....

but after pack some stuff...

took a bath...

then time to leave adi~~~

went for the next literature class....

in which i could not sleep....

luke was sitting right behind...

classmates did their presentations for the literature assignment 1......

another mad thing...

damn unfair....

those nid present today no nid wear formal...

those present tomorow need...

=.='''

in other words...

attire no marks geh..

dun care adi lar~~~

i gt ok marks adi...

no complaints...

2moro class at 11am...

dun wan cycle d..

knees soo pain...

take med oso no use...

that day stupid lar...

was distracted by my thoughts while cycling...

din notice shoelace got jammed in the chain...

in the end PK lor...

left knee slammed into the ground...

and there i was saying that my knee just healed...

stupid...

tired lar...

now wanna sleep jor~~

good night~~~

Feeling of uneasiness

Since this morning I've been having this feeling of uneasiness....

It feels like theres something i should do....

but i cant think of anything at all....

It also feels like theres something missing...

something missing in my life...

that is apparent...

i know whats lacking...

but its affecting me a lot today...

for only THE LORD knows what reasons...

Slightly grumpy...

maybe lack of sleep....

or maybe cuz i'm distracted...

managed to rest on her back for ....

a minute plus plus...

cant forget the feel...

felt great...

all my probs temporarily melted away...

the moment i took my head away...

the feelings of uneasiness returned...

and i've lost count of how many times ive asked her out for a meal...

not just the 2 of us lar...

the dai lou's and others also join....

but duno lar....

always say busy or have other plans ler...

suan lar....

must be persistant...

maybe sometime in the near future...

we will have a meal together...

feeling really unwell now....

inside tummy like got tornado spinning....

headache....

feel like throwing up too....

duno whether its the food i ate or what....

but have been feeling this uneasiness since this morning~~~~

or maybe...

its just that i din have enough sleep...

everynight...earliest oso 1.30am sleep...

recently more towards 2am only sleep....

i wanna chat with her lar~~~

but she dun on9 oso susah~~~

nvr noe when she will online...

no fixed timing~~ XD

dun care lar~~~

patience and persistancy....

well thats all for now....

maybe later update again...

see ada mood or not~~~

What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian? taken frm an email sent to me by nelson

What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian?

1. A typical young Malaysian can name all the players from a top English Premier League club, but ask him to name one football player from Malaysia, he cannot!

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.

3. When highway toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE, run from one end of 1Utama to the other, that one NO COMPLAINT.

5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.

6. You have a parent who forces you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce..

7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to an American / British / Australian.

8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queuing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.

11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians..

13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'

14. When an angmoh stranger kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him in face.

A summary of the past 2-3hrs...

I wanna play the gentleman role sometimes...

like today for instance....

if she had follwed....

i would have used my jacket to block out the rain for the both of us....

but well....

it din happen....

left before she even came out of the class...

big brother was hungry....

so cepat cepat go KFC to eat....

haiz....

if only i could have played the gentleman role....

great setting too....

but on the bright side~~~

made her 2 paper swans...

which she gave one to her friend....

well at least she accepted one....

haha....

dont bother lar~~~ :D

happy can liao....

no need think about other stuff....

well thats all for "now"...

i wanna take a bath...

then need fix my formal shoe...

it's sole is falling off....

bought a bar of almond chocolate...

and hair shampoo....

wallet empty again liao....

*sigh*

The Dream I had Last Night

I waited....and waited and waited....

I waited like a puppy awaiting its mistress's return....

an hour past.....

i told myself....

let me wait another 30minutes....

after 30minutes...

i told myself maybe another half hour....

it was 2am when i realised....

i should just go to sleep....

so i did...

in my sleep...

i dreamed...

I dreamed that we were watching the stars together...

My head on her lap....

her hand in my hair...

slowly caressing me...

it felt great...

singing as we sat there...

watching the stars...

ah....

peace....

how nice if it were to be true...

how nice if it were reality....

with the heavens and the stars as witness...

a new whole is created....

that was a nice dream....

hope it would have gone on longer....

but sadly....

my alarm rang....

signalling that it was time to go back to reality...

the thought...

that dream...

it seemed so real to me...

sad....

but never mind...

maybe one day....

i shall be able to watch the stars with her...

*Silent Sigh*

What a nice dream I had~~~

To bad it had to end so soon~~~

****** The word "whole" in line 25 refers to something else....have to read one of my older post to understand it...i think the post was from early last year. ******